I have come far...

It's been a long journey so far.

I don't know how long I have left, but I can tell you how far I have come.

I am the only person who has made my journey in my shoes. There have been accompaniments, there have been torch bearers, some have held my hand, some have kicked my ass.

There were people who said they would help, but didn't, and are no where to be seen.

Some held my hand for so long and helped me walk when I had no strength left at all.

There are those now, who see me as I am, as well as who saw me as I was. There will never ever be enough words to share my gratitude with them.

The ones who promised something special, didn't. The ones who didn't promise and wondered how they could help, did.

It leads me to here. I am resting after the journey in preparation for the next part ahead. I'm not sure what to take, or what I will need. I'm not sure where it will take me, or what I will do, but I know I have made it this far. I can breathe.

And I look into the eyes of my loved one, and wonder if I will every be able to tell him how much he means to me. How the oppositeness of us both, both scares me and entices me. How in his arms I feel like the only woman in the world to be loved and cherished and feel so safe. It has taken time to be here. He knows this.

This morning, as I looked into his eyes, I wished I could tell him all of this and more. I breathe out my very soul and hope that he breathes in the sunlight of my existence. I close my eyes and need not to imagine what it feels like. My passion and being embraced fills me and loses me in a creation of wind and fire and everything and nothing.

I have fear, but not of the same things.

I am not afraid to talk.
I was once. I have come far.

I am not afraid to dance.
I am not afraid to stand up for what I believe in.
I am not afraid to kiss and profess my love.
I am not afraid to say no and mean it.
I am not afraid to say no and change my mind.
I am not afraid to say that I would like to get married one day and have a family.
I am not afraid to say 'yes, lets travel around the world'.

I fear many things and worry still, however, my future will teach me to cope with them.

I have come this far...lets see where I will go now...