How predictable

The adverts are on again.

Give up smoking, look after your tummy, lose weight, do this, do that, New Year - New You.
Cobblers! I have had enough!

What is it with consumerism. They are full of promises, but actually deliver very little. They are after your money and worst of all, your dignity. They set you up to fail. Which is what they want. There is no money to be made if we all succeeded and gave up smoking and ate well.

Everything is such a quick fix. Give up smoking with patches. Swallowing pills to lose weight, or even worse eating as less as possible. Detoxing, this diet, that diet.

No one want to know the truth, that it takes time. That you start with day 1 and then move to day 2 and then day 3. Its not attractive. Its not now. Everyone wants it now, or even better, yesterday!

I know people would be less inclined to do something if the advert ran like this:
Give up smoking today and be prepared for a really crappy few weeks, you will want to kill everybody probably. You will be cross and shout for no reason and will want to smoke anything or anybody given half the chance....god luck with that!

No, adverts don't work this way. Failure is good for business and then you can complain about it, have a low self-worth, eat more, drink and smoke more and repeat the cycle of low self esteem which makes you feel a failure and so therefore the cycle completes another round.

Why are people not strong enough? Why do we give into temptation at the first whim? Why do the box of chocolates seem to taste so sweet but leave a bitter aftertaste of guilt?

Thank goodness I cant eat any of those things anymore. I thought that dairy was the only thing aggravating my asthma, truth it, its most things. I gave up on soya and margarine about 3 weeks ago. I don't have so much coughing nowadays. I did eat some sheep cheese at my sisters a few days ago, and was coughing so much. Ive learnt my lesson. So the chocolate boxes don't tempt me. But they still look at me...they try to persuade me. They try to tempt me into me making the decision.

Oh...you ate us...it was you who chose, not us, we didnt jump into your mouth did we...you just haven't got enough will power...oh well...whilst youre herre, you might as well have another one...Brazil nut and toffee?

And so, I sit here again against the warmth of the radiator and wonder if I have the willpower? Am I a person who wants a quick fix? Do I want it yesterday?

Love for me dripped gradually into my life. I didn't expect it, or even nurture it at the beginning. There are times I run to it, and there are times I run from it. Yet a year and a half later, I wonder how it all started and what decisions I made leading up to it. It is hard sometimes and yet sometimes it is all very easy. However, it did not come quickly. It wouldn't have worked quickly. I truly felt pursued. It was a brilliant story. Its our story and I think about it often. I wonder what I have to give? And what he gives me. We are so very different that it frightens me. I have to not think about it or I start to run.

So, quick fixes, no thank you. Give me the slow, pursuing moments which unravel poetically. Give me the pain and the tears as they water my soul and makes me grow. Give me the night, for I know day arrives soon. Give me the slow and long path, for every step takes me nearer to where I want to go. Day 1 - I know I am worth it.