I have a ticket

I have a ticket.
A ticket out of here.
A ticket out of the rat-race, the obligations faced by many each day and a ticket to happiness.

Why am I reluctant then to take it?
What is stopping me from saying a 100% yes to this opportunity?

I am with a man who I love very much and who love me too.
He has goals and dreams and wants me to join him to share in his experience.
We have a next chapter, and it includes both of us.

I have a ticket with my name on it and I know I have to take it.
So what is preventing me?
I have a thousand No's running around my head.
The weird thing is, I don't actually want to stay here in my job. Its not me anymore. Its not for me anymore.

One thing preventing me is security. I will have to cash that in for 'I'm-not-sure-what'. I have a roof over my head and financial security. Maybe I have depended on these too much. Maybe I have always had material security.

Mark 10.25 "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I need to leave things behind in order to move forward.

I like how things are at the moment, but I know through experiencing it, that things do not always remain the same.

I cannot imagine not taking this ticket. I would be crazy.

But as time gets nearer to going, I am being dragged backwards by an invisible force that I cannot describe.

I wonder if I could have a conversation with my future self, what I would say to myself today.

I may get another opportunity, I may not.
It may turn out well, it may not.
Nothing in this world is certain, but this much is sure. If you love and are loved, doesn't that endure all?

I love my life, but sometimes you have to give up something to get something else.
Unless something ends, another thing cannot begin.