How close I came.

I have just realised how close I came to losing.

My love is away. He is flying in a competition. I miss him dreadfully even though he has just been gone for two days. It actually feels like two weeks! There have been so many developments at work and I cant even tell him. Yes, two days is a long time. I have another week to wait until he is back. Its going to be a long week.

A pang suddenly filled my heart when I received a text message saying how he likes it there and how he wishes I was there too. I could have thrown this all away. Thank goodness I didnt.

I started to think about the future a few months ago. Stay here alone or go away together for at least 6 months. I made my 'independent' statements about doing what I had to do and that I was my own person with my own decisions to make. What I forgot, was that I am part of a couple.

I know the major change came when I imagined what it would be like to receive messages from him saying how happy he was on his adventures and how he wished I was with him. All this whilst I stayed in the UK alone.

If anything, this evening reminds me how close I was to losing it all.

I miss him yes, but I know that soon, I will be sharing it and experiencing it all.